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第31部分（第3页）

〃Dont　tell　me　if　you　dont　want。　How　do　you　happen　to　be　away　from　the　bloody　front？〃

〃I　think　Im　through　with　it。〃

〃Good　boy。　I　always　knew　you　had　sense。　Can　I　help　you　any　way？〃

〃Youre　awfully　busy。〃

〃Not　a　bit　of　it；　my　dear　Henry。　Not　a　bit　of　it。　Id　be　happy　to　do　anything。〃

〃Youre　about　my　size。　Would　you　go　out　and　buy　me　an　outfit　of　civilian　clothes？　Ive　clothes　but　theyre　all　at　Rome。〃

〃You　did　live　there；　didnt　you？　Its　a　filthy　place。　How　did　you　ever　live　there？〃

〃I　wanted　to　be　an　architect。〃

〃Thats　no　place　for　that。　Dont　buy　clothes。　Ill　give　you　all　the　clothes　you　want。　Ill　fit　you　out　so　youll　be　a　great　success。　Go　in　that　dressing　room。　Theres　a　closet。　Take　anything　you　want。　My　dear　fellow；　you　dont　want　to　buy　clothes。〃

〃Id　rather　buy　them；　Sim。〃

〃My　dear　fellow；　its　easier　for　me　to　let　you　have　them　than　go　out　and　buy　them。　Have　you　got　a　passport？　You　wont　get　far　without　a　passport。〃

〃Yes。　Ive　still　got　my　passport。〃

〃Then　get　dressed；　my　dear　fellow；　and　off　to　old　Helvetia。〃

〃Its　not　that　simple。　I　have　to　go　up　to　Stresa　first。〃

〃Ideal；　my　dear　fellow。　You　just　row　a　boat　across。　If　I　wasnt　trying　to　sing；　Id　go　with　you。　Ill　go　yet。〃

〃You　could　take　up　yodelling。〃

〃My　dear　fellow；　Ill　take　up　yodelling　yet。　I　really　can　sing　though。　Thats　the　strange　part。〃

〃Ill　bet　you　can　sing。〃

He　lay　back　in　bed　smoking　a　cigarette。

〃Dont　bet　too　much。　But　I　can　sing　though。　Its　damned　funny；　but　I　can。　I　like　to　sing。　Listen。〃　He　roared　into　〃Africana；〃　his　neck　swelling；　the　veins　standing　out。　〃I　can　sing；〃　he　said。　〃Whether　they　like　it　or　not。〃　I　looked　out　of　the　window。　〃Ill　go　down　and　let　my　cab　go。〃

〃e　back　up；　my　dear　fellow；　and　well　have　breakfast。〃　He　stepped　out　of　bed；　stood　straight；　took　a　deep　breath　and　menced　doing　bending　exercises。　I　went　downstairs　and　paid　off　the　cab。

34

In　civilian　clothes　I　felt　a　masquerader。　I　had　been　in　uniform　a　long　time　and　I　missed　the　feeling　of　being　held　by　your　clothes。　The　trousers　felt　very　floppy。　I　had　bought　a　ticket　at　Milan　for　Stresa。　I　had　also　bought　a　new　hat。　I　could　not　wear　Sims　hat　but　his　clothes　were　fine。　They　smelled　of　tobacco　and　as　I　sat　in　the　partment　and　looked　out　the　window　the　new　hat　felt　very　new　and　the　clothes　very　old。　I　myself　felt　as　sad　as　the　wet　Lombard　country　that　was　outside　through　the　window。　There　were　some　aviators　in　the　partment　who　did　not　think　much　of　me。　They　avoided　looking　at　me　and　were　very　scornful　of　a　civilian　my　age。　I　did　not　feel　insulted。　In　the　old　days　I　would　have　insulted　them　and　picked　a　fight。　They　got　off　at　Gallarate　and　I　was　glad　to　be　alone。　I　had　the　paper　but　I　did　not　read　it　because　I　did　not　want　to　read　about　the　war。　I　was　going　to　forget　the　war。　I　had　made　a　separate　peace。　I　felt　damned　lonely　and　was　glad　when　the　train　got　to　Stresa。

At　the　station　I　had　expected　to　see　the　porters　from　the　hotels　but　there　was　no　one。　The　season　had　been　over　a　long　time　and　no　one　met　the　train。　I　got　down　from　the　train　with　my　bag；　it　was　Sims　bag；　and　very　light　to　carry；　being　empty　except　for　two　shirts；　and　stood　under　the　roof　of　the　station　in　the　rain　while　the　train　went　on。　I　found　a　man　in　the　station　and　asked　him　if　he　knew　what　hotels　were　open。　The　Grand…Hotel　&　des　Isles　Borrom閑s　was　open　and　several　small　hotels　that　stayed　open　all　the　year。　I　started　in　the　rain　for　the　Isles　Borrom閑s　carrying　my　bag。　I　saw　a　carriage　ing　down　the　street　and　signalled　to　the　driver。　It　was　better　to　arrive　in　a　carriage。　We　drove　up　to　the　carriage　entrance　of　the　big　hotel　and　the　concierge　came　out　with　an　umbrella　and　was　very　polite。

I　took　a　good　room。　It　was　very　big　and　light　and　looked　out　on　the　lake。　The　clouds　were　down　over　the　lake　but　it　would　be　beautiful　with　the　sunlight。　I　was　expecting　my　wife；　I　said。　There　was　a　big　double　bed；　a　_letto　matrimoniale_　with　a　satin　coverlet。　The　hotel　was　very　luxurious。　I　went　down　the　long　halls；　down　the　wide　stairs；　through　the　rooms　to　the　bar。　I　knew　the　barman　and　sat　on　a　high　stool　and　ate　salted　almonds　and　potato　chips。　The　martini　felt　cool　and　clean。

〃What　are　you　doing　here　in　_borghese？_〃　the　barman　asked　after　he　had　mixed　a　second　martini。

〃I　am　on　leave。　Convalescing…leave。〃

〃There　is　no　one　here。　I　dont　know　why　they　keep　the　hotel　open。〃

〃Have　you　been　fishing？〃

〃Ive　caught　some　beautiful　pieces。　Trolling　this　time　of　year　you　catch　some　beautiful　pieces。〃

〃Did　you　ever　get　the　tobacco　I　sent？〃

〃Yes。　Didnt　you　get　my　card？〃

I　laughed。　I　had　not　been　able　to　get　the　tobacco。　It　was　American　pipe…tobacco　that　he　wanted；　but　my　relatives　had　stopped　sending　it　or　it　was　being　held　up。　Anyway　it　never　came。

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